I need help removing her.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
