what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
