next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
