It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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