Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
