There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
