I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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