Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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