i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
