New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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