I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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