Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
