Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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