I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
