Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
