the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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