Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
