My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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