Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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