Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It's Friday. Sex?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
