she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
