Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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