apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
