Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think your dad took our porno
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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