Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She swung at the pinata with crutches
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
