If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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