Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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