it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
