Umm I'm too high to move.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
