he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
