K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
