let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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