i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
