no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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