Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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