At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize