Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
