If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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