wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
