We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
