dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
