So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
