If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There r osticjed everywhere
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize