sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
honey bunches of taint.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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