You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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