Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
