I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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