can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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