I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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