Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she peed on how many people?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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