hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
