ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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