I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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