One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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