ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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