tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
