Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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