pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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