went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
