he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
