You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize