best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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