Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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