Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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