Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
