We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
