So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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