Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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